Want What You Can't Have
by Obsidian Eclipse
Summary: Faith thinks about a certain blonde Slayer. Does B think of her as just a friend, or more? Songfic to "Blood Red River."


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Want What You Can't Have   
by Obsidian Eclipse  
Author's Note: My first Buffy/Faith fic and songfic. Be gentle if you review, ne? oO;  
Summery: Faith muses and broods about Buffy. The song is called Blood Red River. I dropped the other B/F I was planning to write this... in the span of about half an hour, so pardon me if this sucks. xD Post third-season.  
  
_Took a friend I found   
Across some blood red river   
Never did find my way home   
In time to forgive her _  
  
The dark temptress moves alone, all alone.   
  
Aware of the eyes on her, she lets a wry grin cross her face as she sways her hips, twisting her fingers in her hair, moving to the hard, fast music.   
  
_Why must people always want what they can't have?   
Why must people always grab what they'd never grasp? _  
  
Buffy. Beautiful, perfect, spotless, sunny, golden girl. Too good and glorious for dirty, dark, crazy, flawed, dangerous Faith.   
  
When they slayed together, Faith could sense the excitement in the other Slayer, something that ran deeper then the satisfaction of the kill. The darker side, all the blood and the violence and the death.   
  
When they slayed together, arms and legs would brush together, aiding and helping each other. She could swear that she saw the same smoldering desire in the other girl's eyes, just before the walls came tumbling down. For her. Faith, the dark, predetorial Slayer.   
  
Faith could see the lust in B's eyes, the way they traced up and down her voluptuous curves, her skimpy leather attire. When Buffy thought no one would notice.  
  
_How did we get so far?   
How do we move so fast away   
From the lilac-lilied lake   
I'm sure we used to play   
Is it only a dream away? _  
  
Was the pure Slayer even attracted to girls?  
  
Faith can remember how it first happened. Their first kiss. Fighting, blood spilling, she accidently fell on top of her. Hands went places they shouldn't be in, both lost in the haze of lustful aroused passion. Lips met in sprialling desire, sucking, moaning until...  
  
She pulled away. Faith looked up in slight bewilderment and surprise and disappointment. She was clearly embarrassed, flustered, stammering an excuse to leave.  
  
_Took a raft I found   
Across some blood red river   
Never did find my way home   
In time for my dinner _  
  
They were the same, cut out of the same mold. Sisters in almost everyway, linked by an unatural bond, equals. Faith tried to show her the way, the way of true fun, freedom, independence, wildness. She knew what fun was, to be herself and be whole, running into the darkness, to be thrown to the wolves. Instead, she chose to deny it, to hide behind sun-lit clouds and a lover that she could never have.  
  
Was it just a stupid crush? Faith doesn't know. Sexual attraction mixed with infatuation with obsession with those big blue-green eyes, slim, athletic figure, long blonde hair, and perfect features has mostly to do with it.   
  
Love... maybe. But only in a distant dream.  
  
_Why must people always want what they never have?   
Why is it a crime to miss a part of you that's bled? _  
  
Faith moves to the music playing, the name of which escapes her. Even after countless fucks afterwards, still she can't rid herself of the thoughts.   
  
Soft lips moving against her's, hands carassing her body, the faint, tantalizing scent of lilac perfume, long blonde hair tickling the sides of her face.  
  
Clearly she didn't want her. Clearly she rejected her, considers her a friend, considers her gone and done with.   
  
_How did we get so far?   
How do we move so fast away   
From the lilac-lilied lake   
I'm sure we used to play   
Is it only a dream away?   
Only a dream away _  
  
The other night Faith saw her, just coming out of the Bronze. Hey B, she said, Wanna Help Me Scope Out This New Haunt I Found?  
  
B stared at the other girl uncomfortably. _No thanks... I... have other plans._  
  
Sure, Faith returns.   
  
No Big Deal.  
  
_Lost a friend   
I found down some blood red river   
Never did find my way home   
In time to forget her_  
  
Faith hasn't seen him before, a strong-looking hunk of new meat. She pulls him towards her, grinds her hips against him, lets him buy her drinks and lets him take her home to the nearby motel.  
  
To forget about her will be a blessing.  
  
_Why must people always want what they can't have?   
Why must people always take, but forget to ask? _  
  
Faith rolls over to her side, wincing as early morning sun hits her face. The new guy still sleeping, she reaches for her clothes and places them on.  
  
"Where're you going?" he says menacingly, clad in his boxers, making a dash for the door.   
  
She decks him without a second thought.  
  
"Loser," she flings at him, dark hair flying as she struts out.  
  
_How do we get so far?   
How do we move so fast away   
From the lilac lilied lake   
Where I'm sure where we used to play   
Is it only a dream away?   
Only a dream away _  
  
Buffy. Beautiful, perfect, spotless, sunny, golden girl. Too good and glorious for dirty, dark, crazy, flawed, dangerous Faith. 


End file.
